Brain paste

Weariness achieves an all new low today. A slugail (a cross between a slug and a snail) on permanent crutches. That’s the level of mental fatigue I am talking about.  I haven’t got around to mending this jaded feeling yet. It’s hard to resist a bubbling urge to dig into my brain and scoop it all out. Tossing the grotesque visual aside, I think I will just settle with brain paste.

I hear this is the latest medical breakthrough, right after HIV curing snake venom, pro-depressants and telekinesis tofu. Advertisements are scrolled all over the city.It will be hard to pick and chose which would suit me better.

Fight evil with brain paste for up to 12 hours! Kill those demons in your head. Now in strawberry and banana flavor too.

wait there’s more…

Massage your bloated egos with the soothing, aloe-Vera brain paste – designed specially for your sensitive brains.

Will you BACLEAN your brain tonight?

Refresh your brain cells all year around! Twice a day every day- scrub,scrub,scrub away!

The self-righteous have spread like wildfire in the city and are oddly enough huffing fire too. “It’s they  who need this abomination, not us!” they protest. “This world is going to burn,” they scream.   Consequently, companies responsible for the monopolized production of this paste have now launched another type, to better suit this particular lot.

Visibly holier with brain paste – get that perfect halo! Caution: Preferably for the pious. Unholy people must use at their own risk.

* special note: side-effects include a permanent erosion of grey matter leading to frequent bouts of beastly tendencies, head bashing (one’s own and others), numbness and cold toes.

I am having a hard time finding the perfect match for my brain. A halo wouldn’t hurt. It would go well on my resume. But an ego massage could do wonders for my tired soul.

I suppose I’ll buy one of each

 

 

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6 thoughts on “Brain paste

  1. Love this, could do with some myself. Something for forgetfulness – oh, and neat & tidy thinking patterns, maybe a general de-cluttering of old pathways. Can you whip something up for me?

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  2. Oh my dear child.The etiology could be genetic, since in our family we are certainly prone to murderous rages, extreme silkiness, deadly glooms, and then alternating with grandiosity with low self esteem! My advice is to putup a sign board outside your home, of the type we see graffiti coloring walls all over; the Bengali baba kind.Show the goras that you have a cure for everything from unrequited love to the job of your dreams. Also add misery to the enemy and a sureshot formula to turn your hubby into a perfect concoctions. Sell a vodoodoll, a toothpaste, a brainpaste or a tawveez!! Burn incense sticks, act holier than thou and keep on making hay while the sun is shining. …..

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