So this is how it happens. One fine day you get called in to save the day. Not by riding on a black lustrous horse galloping to the rescue. But by treading carefully in the land of soft, cushiony and tiny baby fingers and toes. That is what happens when an ex-IT professional / writer/ mom of two little angels(most days) becomes an expert at something she never imagined in her wildest, skydiving-in-the-alps mommy-dreams.
I said, “Awe he is so adorable! Look at those cotton hands. I thought to myself: “Look at those long nails!” (shudder). My thoughts were apparently loud enough.
She said, “Oh, I can’t get myself to cut his nails. Ouch.”
I thought some more. Hmmm, this is my chance. This is my calling. I said with calculated modesty sprinkled with a bit of haughtiness, “Oh really? I think I can help.”
Wonder Woman soundtrack beat somewhere in a parallel, invisible dimension. I swooped up my bag and took out my secret weapon. Leonardo had his swords. Thor had his hammer.
I had my Tommee Tippee Nail Scissors. She showed me her crude looking baby nail clippers that could cut through soft flesh like any vengeful metal. To think some random baby products’ company manufactured such atrocities! I hid my disgust and managed a polite reply. “No, it’s OK. I have these.” More background music.
With steady hands, I took the sleeping infant’s right hand and thumb nail. The big one went to heaven first. I cut away, like a nail surgeon. I always wanted to be a doctor as a child. That obviously did not happen. A girl’s got to settle somewhere right? The mother looked at me like I had just pulled her out from a burning vehicle. I felt blood pour into my cheeks and sweaty drops on my forehead huddling to commemorate this grand feat. I thought about showing off. You know, the whole shut-eye-and-clip shebang. Maybe on my next mission. And so I clipped away like I owned the biggest
hair nail salon in Beverly Hills.
After 10 finger nails, I looked up to assess the situation. She said she would handle the toe fiends. That’s a given when you learn from the best. My work there was done.
I stood up and looked around, waiting for loud cheers and applause. I saw the mother and her huge, orange-slice grin. That would have to do I suppose.
Now if I only I could design the perfect super-hero costume. No? Well then just a name? Oh come on! Cut me some credit at least!
I just signed up for National Blog Posting Month (NaBloPoMo) – November 2014. This is an awesome venture of Blogher.com. In their own words:
“Every November, thousands of bloggers commit to posting daily. But it’s about much more than getting that post up—it’s about community and connection. It’s also about honing your craft, challenging yourself, and taking your blog to the next level.”
I will write every day of November. This is my first post.