My Thirty years and the lessons I have learned
A friend shared an interesting blog article with me the other day. In it a fellow blogger wrote twenty eight lessons that she had learnt in her twenty eight years. Many have done it before but I loved the idea. I thought I would try my hand at it too. And no I don’t have a Rumi hidden inside, dying to be let out. I just want to see what I have really learnt in my thirty years.
I am going to pick up basic aspects of life and human interaction that I think are important (not necessarily in the order given). Many are cliche’s, but then so is life. A wonderful, crazy, predictable book with each chapter as uncertain as it can be. Most of these things are a life long struggle for me to follow and uphold. But that’s life. You learn, you make mistakes, you learn and try again.
So here goes nothing….
1. Be grateful! It’s the least you or I can do. For every little crumb of joy that lands in your plate… shout thank you God! For every little shrapnel of a problem that pierces your heart, thank God, for it could have been worse. Easy to say, harder to do, but still doable. A solution always manifests, sooner or later.
2. Be there for your parents. Show them you care in all stages of their lives. Whether you agree or disagree in certain issues , respect and seek guidance from them, always! No ones going to love you more than them. Stick close to them, no matter what the distance. They deserve great love and joy. And thats all they care for at the end of it all. Thats all.
3. Appreciate often! Give a pat on the back to yourself, your family, your friends. Even a stranger who opens the door for you and your baby, because they really didn’t need to do that (you can let go of the ‘patting’ bit here of course). Don’t wait for the other person to compliment you first so you can tell them how pretty they look. Try to be honest about it. But once in a while, if your few words can make someone smile, no matter how off the grid their fashion sense may be, lie a little! No ones going to hang you for it.
4. You don’t know NOTHING! Certainly not enough to feel all smug about it. So keep reading, listening, watching and taking it all in. Its ok if you just discovered that kindergarten was spelled with a ‘t’ and not a ‘d’. Apart from fainting with embarrassment every time I think about it, it also reminds me that I don’t know shit!
5. Don’t judge! Every time you form a baseless opinion about the other person, on their looks, the way they talk, or walk or dress or eat; imagine there is at least one other person doing the same to you. If not worse. So cut it out!
6. There is always, ALWAYS a bright side to everything. You don’t know what’s on the other side and its supposed to be that way. But just know that the better plan is just around the corner. Have faith. Positivity, anyone??
7. Be ready to let go of preconceived notions; because there’s a chance you need more knowledge. Even ‘porn’ isn’t bad, if it’s word porn! Get my drift?
8. There’s no one like mom. After becoming a mother myself, I have the utmost respect for all the mothers in the world. My own mama, my mum-in-law…The most crazy, never-ending, gratifying (yet at times thankless) job in the world is that of a mom’s. The entire world is literally running on their shoulders. So next time you think about talking back to your mother, or telling her she does not know anything, give yourself a smack on the head. You deserve it.
9. Don’t complain about everything; about how you had to stand for hours in the grocery line or how your pinky hurts because you hurt yourself doing a manicure. Let go, move on, think of something else to talk about. And if you can’t, then just do deep breathing and zip your lips.
10. Listen! If someone has a personal conversation with you, its mostly because they want to be heard, and rarely because they want to hear you cut them off in the midst and start ranting about your own problem. Its not always about you. Just shush and listen. And nod, profusely.
11. Friends are important! But you need to know which ones. And after you turn twenty-five the filtration process gets easy. So please, filter by all means. A handful that remain deserve your love and care. Not the dozens who you can boast about on facebook.
12. Pump some air into that heart of yours. Yes, work on making your heart bigger. I am not too sure about helium, but a simple act of shrugging your shoulders can help. Half of our life’s problems vanish if we let go of petty issues and learn to ignore. If someone passed a mean remark, or did not react the way you expected they would, so what? Its their problem, not yours.
13. Trust your inner voice.Though most times you may be an ignorant fool, occasionally, the wisdom God intended for us to have, seeps through. These are moments you take seriously.
14. It’s all right to start over; even when you think you’re at the top of the wrong ladder, at the wrong time.A job, a relationship, or a book you are writing. Like random lucky draw games we love investing in;Please try again.
15. Who cares what they say!? This is a huge problem from where I come from. People spend their entire lives in fear of what others think or say about them. It’s basic human nature so it’s obviously a global epidemic; in some areas more than others. But if you finally realize how ridiculous this is, you will live a better, free-er, happier life. For sure!
16. Don’t cheat! Whether it’s an exam, a spouse, or your country’s taxes, for the love of all that is pure.. find another way. Flunk the exam if you didn’t study, end the relationship if there’s no love, or retire if you don’t have the guts to do anything honestly.
17. Be happy for others. Genuinely. Its not like a random stranger stops you to tell about his new car and expects you to do the happy dance. If someone thinks you deserve to know their good news and shares it with you, be honored, be happy for them. Show, not a stiff smile seething with jealousy, but a true laugh from the heart that shows them you mean it.
18. Every problem can be handled. No worry is bigger than our ability to handle it. This thought alone can change the way we live. That’s as factual as the sun and the stars. That is what our Creator ordained.
19. Don’t hoard stuff. Let’s not stock up on perfumes, clothes, jewelry and make secret plans of wearing them in the year 2020. Either use it or invest that money for something more useful. A gym membership? Charity? Leisure trip?
20. Believe in signs, omens, a little bit of crazy,.. if not for their truth, then at least for their magic!
21. Watch cartoons, once in a while. It helps you drown out all the useless noise, gives you a nice sip of nostalgia, and if nothing else; gives you something to smile about.
22. Children are the most perfect, most beautiful creations of God. Treat them as such. Don’t pass remarks on newborn babies’ colors, or their noses or anything at all!!!
23. Run after contentment, not the latest designer bag or a bigger home
24. Backbiting is shitty. No two ways about it. Remind yourself every time you are gossiping away and curse yourself for it. Walk out, change the subject or if you are brave enough, tell the person doing it, to stop!
25. There is no such thing as a New Year`s resolution. If you want to start something new, just start, there and then. Don`t wait for the new year, or a Monday. It never comes. Period.
26. Say no to ‘bored’. I said that as a kid and even now at times as an adult. Though now I realize how lame that is. With all that life has to offer, with all that we’ve been blessed with, its a tad bit unfair if we can’t even remove the word ‘bored’ from our vocabularies. Go chase some butterflies, just go and do something, anything!
27. Show some teeth. Everyone looks awesome when they give a big smile with their teeth showing. Dump those fake, forced smiles that give a bad name to the real .
28. Treat yourself. Icecream? Chocolates? Cake? But know when to draw the line because above all you love yourself and you eat to stay happy. Not because you are out on some sadistic spree to get high on stuffing chocolates, till you drop, literally!
29. Have something to look forward to. A night out with the husband. The smell of breakfast. A day of fun with the children. It could be anything. Anything that makes you all warm and cozy inside.
30. Read my blog. Just kidding. No seriously, be humorous. Humor and wit gets you places. Even if its back home after getting fired for a funny attitude. But hey, remember point number 6 above, positivity???