Wednesday Wiseness: Tapping into your real fears


Fear, unlike the  size of one’s eye, doesn’t stay the same since birth. It transforms. It mutates and takes up different faces and forms. Fear sneaks behind when least expected, and pounces upon us when most awaited.

When you are a child, fear starts sweet and simple. Sweet to the listener’s ears, for who wouldn’t smile at a child’s purity of heart? Simple because the fearful world of the child ends with a loving kiss and a comforting hug. A monstrous roar of a vacuum cleaner or mother’s hair dryer. Or a demonic shadow cast by a tree outside the window. A monster under the bed, or a hairy spider There are always exceptions. Children who don’t scare easily, be it a repulsive mask on Halloween or a gigantic St. Bernard wagging its tail. In their case, fear thrives in the unexpected cracks of life. The dizziness of a carousel, the feel of slippery sand between tiny toes or a stuffed teddy bear. Everyone has fears. It’s just a matter of tapping in further, digging deep.

Soon those imaginary needles stop pricking. The make-believe blood stops dripping. Soon your trembling legs and jittery teeth won’t mean much when you’re kissing the mountain peeks, or drowning in infinite drops of water. Soon, it will be the real deal. You will shake hands with fears that never go away.

Fear of becoming someone you never thought you’d be. Fear of becoming someone you always imagined. Fear of losing a loved one. Fear of finding a wronged soul. Fear of an ill body or worse a sick mind. Fear of a broken heart. Fear of an unloved life. Fear of speaking a word you can’t take back. Fear of a word never uttered. Fear of a closed heart and an open mouth. Fear of belief. Fear of doubt. Fear of not doing enough. Fear of doing too much. Fear of a third person’s eye. Fear of family’s glare. Fear of life’s brutal honesty. Fear of death’s subtle deceit. Fear of everything. Fear of nothing.

Congratulations, you’ve grown up. Who will smile at your fears now?



  1. ummezahra · October 16, 2014

    “Who will smile at your fears now?” you ask… I never thought about it that way — great piece for your wise day of the week 🙂 I think we as adults should be able to smile at our fears… fear of nothing and fear of everything. I still smile at my childhood memories — that inability to go to bed after watching a scary movie my brother put on for me. As an adult though the fear of a family glare or a broken heart and so much more only instigate a feeling of utter annoyance with oneself after the moment has passed… that is if you are able to come out of it at all. People say the only thing we have to fear is fear itself.. I always wondered if that was setting the bar unrealistically high… how about not have a fear ‘of’ fear? Or maybe I’m too big of a wuss 🙂


    • Nida S. · October 16, 2014

      I know what you mean by the “annoyance” bit. Sometimes our fears are so unwarranted that it gets almost embarrassing. And these are fears we harbor as adults, not as children.


    • Nida S. · October 16, 2014

      And I doubt you’re a wuss by any standard 🙂


      • ummezahra · October 16, 2014

        nah I am by most standards 🙂 but I think ppl have different ways of dealing with life. By nature I was never the luv-thy-neighbour type… it was fear of what if that were me that has helped me stay grounded. I would luv to declare I am a good person (on my best days) because I”m naturally so but that won’t be true. for me my fears have led me to many triumphs. But as a mother I will teach my kids the same only-fear-u-have-is-fear-itself routine my parents gave me. They still keep coming to my bed at night 😦


  2. bik1012 · October 17, 2014

    You’d be surprised. You’d be surprised ’cause even your (infallible) parents live in fear every single day of their lives. Their fears are occasionally real, but mostly perceived; and try as hard as they will, these fears don’t go away. They knaw But being afraid isn’t something intrinsically bad. Life is uncertain and if we learn to revel in its uncertainties we learn to live. Every stage of life sprouts different fears; we constantly dream failures, setbacks, tragedies. More often than not these fears don’t become realities, but occasionally they do. There is not much that can be done about it except coping with it when it becomes real. In the meanwhile enjoy the mundane things and joys that life offers us; it’ll never be risk or fear free!! Fear is for the dead; life is for the living and we need to learn to live with our fear. They will mutate and haunt but come to think of it, do you have a choice???


  3. bik1012 · October 17, 2014

    Love your penmanship


  4. bik1012 · October 17, 2014

    And frankly NS you never “grow up”. It is a fallacy. The adage; you are young as long as your heart is young is true!! Don’t life get to you


    • Nida S. · October 17, 2014

      That’s exactly what I think too. A grown up shouldn’t have to worry about non-fears like most of us do. A grown up should always look up and have faith. Sometimes I think little children have far more wisdom and foresight than us. Maybe it all works in reverse. Children gradually lose wisdom they carry from the womb and the heavens when they step foot on mortal land. Ah, there I go again, not making any sense:)


      • bik1012 · October 30, 2014

        Making sense certainly – like in an inverted manner. Maybe you are right


  5. livelytwist · October 18, 2014

    Who will smile at your fears now? I guess me! Some are so embarrassing, I dare not share . . .


  6. Holistic Wayfarer · October 19, 2014

    I think we are most afraid of being afraid.


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